Wednesday, March 28, 2007

...since my midwife recommended it, i've been trying to walk 3 miles a day. sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn't. i need to state here that when it doesn't happen, it's because of the weather. it's awkward walking in the rain, holding an umbrella and pushing a stroller all at the same time. and because i live in a town that's around a hundred and fifty years old, some of the sidewalks aren't stroller friendly. those days, it's just too much of a hassle.

it, being walking, was recommended because of the emotional roller coaster i've been on this last little bit. i guess walking is supposed to help with that. to be honest, i was skeptical at first, and actually didn't do it for the first 2 months after it was "suggested". then, i went to three hills.

i found there that i tried to discover streets i had never been down before (surprisingly, there were more than a few...), and i also tried to show lyla the sidewalks that tony and i had walked on when we were first dating. the funny thing was, in the midst of all my exploring i discovered how much i had healed from all the pain i went through there. i was able, for the first time in years, to be thankful for my experiences, for those bumpy sidewalks if you will, that shaped me into the woman i'm becoming. because those sidewalks prepared me for the journey i'll be facing with my own two little girls...

in walking, i've discovered the peace that my heart was craving. in walking, i've experienced grace extended...through those close to me personally, and also from random drivers who patiently wait for a pregnant woman to get her stroller unstuck from the bumpy roads at the crosswalk. in walking, i'm discovering how closely life mimics such a simple activity. there are easy patches...like the straight section ahead of me that i can breeze over. there are the hills that leave me breathless for 5 minutes despite "mind over matter" running through my head. there are the unexpected bumps in the path, like when what you think is a simple trail going down a gentle hill deceptively turns into a pile of rocks used for a drainage system. but at each new discovery, i continue walking. eventually it evens out and i'm given respite before the next challenge.

olivia grace's name has come out of this experience of walking. olivia means peace. grace means good will. both have become a reality for me while my feet have covered many miles and my heart has been lifted.

this journey ahead won't be easy. in fact, some of those hills look pretty darn steep. but the One who has poured out His peace into my heart again will see me through. i couldn't be more thankful.

i can't wait to see what is ahead of me tomorrow...if it's not raining:).