i've had a few questions concerning my whole birth experience, so i thought i would post what i can remember for those who really want to know. if you want to know it all, tony would probably be the one to ask:).
august 12, 2007 at 4 am i had my first "hello, this is different" contraction. which went on and off all day, sometimes taking my breath away, sometimes not. enough to keep me guessing though. my friend sarah and her husband came over around 10 that evening to bring me a lemonade i had been craving and we sat around talking until 12 when i had my first 4 minute contraction. not fun. not fun at all. that's when i called my midwife for the second time and she told me to come in just to see how far along i was.
i was 2.5 cm. i was not happy.
but she told us to stay since she had a gut feeling that i could have the baby the following evening. i think that was after 1ish. so, tony and i crawled into bed to get a bit of sleep before the inevitable happened. but, relaxing has it's benefits and my contractions started picking up almost immediately after i realized i forgot the magazine i bought that day to read as i passed the time. (which is a joke - no drugs = no passing time)
charlotte's two assistants arrived around 2ish to help me with the beginning stages of labour so she could sleep and be alert and ready to see me through the hard parts. i remember picking up my cell phone at 2:51am to check the time and crying because i didn't think i could labour for another 13 hours with no meds.
that's when it all starts getting hazy. i remember finding a lot of comfort in the fact that tony was there holding one hand, and kim (the other midwife) holding my other talking me through each contraction. i remember crying and my nose running onto a sheet covering the birthing ball i was leaning against and apologizing. i remember feeling olivia transition into the birth canal and yelling because it felt weird. i remember charlotte coming in at one point and saying she was going to check me in a half hour and wanting to punch her. i remember telling tony at the height of a contraction that i would never do this without drugs again, and almost pulling his pants down (belt and all) when i was trying to get through one of the hardest contractions. i remember the surprise in everyone's voice when they realized that i was further along than they all thought and told me i could push. first one broke my water. i remember looking at charlotte and telling her i couldn't do it, it hurt too bad. i remember her looking me in the eye as she began praying and asking Jesus to give me strength and protection for livie. i remember with the second push having tony tell me she was crowning, and just as she was crowning the song "ring of fire" by johnny cash began to run through my head. and then looking down as tony "caught" olivia with my third push and placed her on my chest and looking into her incredible eyes as she screamed her sweet little face off.
yesterday i wasn't sure if i ever wanted to go sans drugs again. i knew it was going to be hard, but i didn't think it would be THAT hard. learning that delivering a sunnyside up baby is difficult though makes me feel a little bit better. but today, looking back at the incredible support and peacefulness during the whole experience makes me think i could do it again. not that i look forward it, but i loved the fact that i could go home 5 hours after i had livie and be with lyla and tony and my mom. so drugs vs natural? drugs are wonderful. drugs make it easier and less loud (yes, i was very vocal - i'm trying to be proud of the fact, but i'm still a little embarassed...) but i'm glad that i got to experience every unfun part too. i'm leaning to the natural end of things again, but we'll see in a couple of years when it's time to go through it all again:).
hope none of that was too much:)
