my, what a year...

i've been having the urge to blog again...for awhile, i would sit down with my computer on my lap and stare at the blank screen blankly. so many words, so many ideas, so many things to write to you about, but the words just wouldn't come.

and so, i waited.

i waited until there was something truly blog worthy.

and there is.

her name is olivia grace.

as i sit here with the computer on my lap, i glance at the time occasionally, remembering certain key points from a year ago. for example: the time right now is 9:30pm. i was having contractions that weren't really regular, but were definitely *hey, let's get this party started* type contractions.

in an hour and half, it will have been one year since my 4 minute contraction. let me state here and now that i'm glad that your mind forgets what that feels like.

in almost 9 hours it will be a year since i held my precious baby in my arms for the first time.

it doesn't feel like it's been a year - i'm sure every parent feels that way on the eve of their child's birth; when i think of lyla turning 3 in less then 6 months, i have to catch my breath because it doesn't feel possible.

and so i sit here with a heart full of emotion that can't seem to be caught in the words i type. as i tucked my little one into her bed tonight, listened to tony pray over her and kissed her soft, downy head, i wanted to pause the moment for a bit longer. to remember how she fits in my arms, to remember her sweet baby smell. to remember each sigh, each smile as she buried her face in her teddy. i want to remember.

and so, i continue to blog. not just because i have ideas and thoughts and moments that i long to share with you...but because i want to capture these moments, these memories, for my daughters.

moments like the time in the car last month when i had my feet on the dashboard and the sun caught my toe-hair (yes, i have toe hair. you do too - i just forget to wax mine off.) and lyla piped up from the back seat, "mama? you have toe lashes?"

at some point, livie will be putting words together too, and her inquistive mind will pepper me with ideas and thoughts and questions that will be so adorable that i'll share them here.

but until then, i want to wish you a very happy birthday, olivia grace. you have brought an incredible amount of joy and laughter (and some tears) to my life. i remember wondering at one point how i could ever love you as much as i already loved your big sister, but when you were born, you brought with you an expander that fit perfectly in my heart and encompassed you.

i love you sweetheart.

august13, 2007

august 12, 2008 (just pretend with me it's august 13th:).)