angels watching over me...

Friday, April 24, 2009

i will bravely admit to being a fan of this singer to help illustrate why this song has been running through my head almost non-stop for the past 2 weeks. and while i enjoyed the song when i was 13 and could listen to it over and over again, i'll be's beginning to drive me a little nuts, while at the same time it's driving the point home that even the most desparate prayers are heard by a gracious and loving Father, no matter how big or small.

because, let's face it - there are times when it's difficult to believe that God thinks that we are significant enough to listen to...other people definitely, but me?

or, maybe that's just me. i can live with that. shows that He still has some unfinished stuff with me. (and now, the gaither favorite "kids under construction" has just started up in my brain...the two songs are battling it out for first place! i'll let you know who wins...)

i was brushing livie's teeth last night and discovered that her 2 year molars have finally all pushed through, which would explain the wonderful week we were priviliged to have 2 weeks ago, and why she would be inconsolable for hours at a time.

at night.


not's livie.

however, for the most part, i could lay down on the couch with her and have her fall asleep within an hour or two and we would all fall back into a somewhat peaceful slumber.

but there is always an exception.

and along with those exceptions comes *that* cry. you may know *the* cry i'm talking about. it's different from the *i'm in pain* cry...this cry screams (quite literally) of terror and fear. and while i probably shouldn't admit this as a mama, i'm not that brave myself when it comes to the dark of night.

so i got up and held her, remembering the terror i used to feel in the dark...i rocked her, sang over her, snuggled her close, pulled her into bed with me, laid down on the couch with her, prayed over her and nothing, nothing came close to soothing her. so, after 3 hours of trying to figure out what to do, i decided that for my sanity and hers, she was going to have to go back to bed. still terrified, still crying. and my heart broke.

as i laid her down (though, how can you lay down a bob cat who's thrashing around?) i begged Jesus to be near my little one, to comfort her where i obviously couldn't.

i crawled back into bed and pulled the covers up around my chin, listening to the heart shattering sobs coming from her room and i prayed again, "Jesus, please, surround livie's bed with your angels, protect her from whatever is causing her such fear...let her know your presence."

as soon as the words were out of my mouth, the screaming stopped and in it's place was livie saying happily, "hi! hi! hi! hi! hi! hi!" a pause, then "one, twooo, free, foor, five, sith"

was my livie allowed a glimpse of those who surround and protect her? how can i deny it - the change was immediate, the peace that flooded not only her voice, but my heart, my home as well, was as tangible as the warm covers around me.

i went to sleep that morning hearing the joy in my daughter's voice and feeling joy in my heart because of the assurance that He hears me...and cares enough to answer in unexpected ways...