i passed by the kitchen window many times today.
in fact, i passed by many windows today. windows that flood the house with light. windows that remind me that i'm set deep into a valley.
windows that remind me that even though i'm breathing, hurting, reeling in the shadow of a valley, i'm breathing, hurting, reeling in the shadow of a mountain.
and so, each time i looked out whatever window i happened to be facing, i lifted my eyes to the top of the mountains. knowing that it wasn't the mountain itself that was my source of strength, but the One who formed the mountains that my father-in-law loved so much.
i did fine until the sun started going down.
i did fine until i couldn't see the top of the mountains anymore.
suddenly, me, the valley, the mountains were in complete and utter darkness.
and lyla, in sweet, child-like innocence began to recite, "mama, i have two grammas, right?"
"yes, baby, you have two grammas."
"mama, i have two papas, right?"
and livie, in the bathtub behind me, began to softly sing, my God is so big...
"yes, sweetheart, you have two papas."
so strong and so mighty...
"mama, where is my papa here?"
there's nothing my God cannot do, for you.
"your papa here, baby girl, gets to be with Jesus."
the mountains are His...
the mountains that tony's dad loved. the mountains where he died. the mountains i can't see in the night...
the rivers are His...
the river near where he was found...
the stars are His handy work too...
reminding me that even when i can't see the top of the mountain, when i look desperately to see where my Help is coming from, He provides the stars in the night. just enough light to remind me that...
my God is so big. so strong and so mighty, there's nothing, nothing my God cannot do, for you.
