He continues to fill...

Monday, December 27, 2010

sunday morning, still early and dark, found me calling out to Him before my eyes opened to face the day...

nothing, Jesus...i have nothing to offer You today.

i came before Him empty, fragile, exhausted, and tenderly in quiet moments throughout the day He came near and filled my heart.

my eyes flew open in the early hours of this morning, my heart beating rapidly, the call on my heart was intense, urgent...

pray, kimberley...pray now.

unsure as to why, i began calling out to the One Who woke me up;  asking for safety, for peace, for protection.

i wandered through the house, shaky and uncertain but talking with the One who had walked me through the shaky and uncertain moments at this time last year.

He was here.  He was close and as i prayed for Him to fill my home, to surround my home, to cover us all...He did.

this christmas was quiet.  unsure how to walk through our first without our family whole had filled me with trepidation.

and in the moments when i thought i would go mad with the questions and grief, He would whisper to my heart,

My Name is Emmanuel.  I. Am. here.

as i move forward into each pain-full and memory-filled days of this week, His words press me closer to Him, find me grasping for His presence...and finding it.

He is here.  He is always here.

and i am so very thankful...

60* sitting on the love seat with sweet mamaB and watching sappy christmas movies.

61* for an uncle's patience and willingness to be a jungle gym for 2 little girls who adored him non-stop for 5 days.

62* for the trip to the emergency room and some quiet and alone moments with the oldest.

63* for a quick trip to the grocery store and olivia's hand grasping mine and the joy in her face as i whispered, i love you, sweet girl and i'm so proud of you.

64* for the way she says, ree-dic-u-lee-us and awwww nuts and oh. my. word. with her 3 year old attitude.

65* for extra snuggles with a feverish little boy.

66* to be entrusted with the honor to pray over my home and family while every one sleeps.

67* for the gift to steal away for a couple of hours with tony and falling in love with him all over again.

68* feeling, deep inside, the wonder over his choosing me...always choosing me.

69* for the hug in a bank that left me broken and loved.

70* for the gift given to my girls by a friend who i adore.

71* for my friends, each one of them, and that i still have days here before the goodbyes begin...

72* for the sweet card filled with blessings over each one in my family and the writer not yet out of high school...

73* that He is here,  always here and He will be wherever He is sending us...

74* that my list will continue there as well...