Monday, June 20, 2011

i sat in the dark and listened.

and the tears rolled down.

and the argument got heated...

surrounded, but alone in a row that held just me and as the music crescendoed  so did the hurt and He kept whispering into my deep,

I love you.

and i fought back,

but they don't.

and not to be outdone, He pressed in harder,

but *I* do.

over and over i fought with Him as my heart wrestled between worship and pain.

and the tears gave testament to a weakening resolve.

then please, please show me.

i gathered my bible, my pen and my notes, zipped up my purse and headed to the nursery area to pick up my three.

and i've moved to this new city and i gave up a lot and i might as well give up any scruples i had in approaching strangers and when i saw the elderly lady swathed in glorious pink, i couldn't help but approach her and ask where she found her scarf.

because, like her, it was lovely.

and we chatted and she couldn't remember and thought it would be chillier outside then it turned out to be,

and olivia yelled out,  mama!! and elias reached out his arms, and lyla came out with arms full of treasures for us all and it was time for me to go.

but before we left i turned to her and said,  you look beautiful.

the heat hit hard and i found myself drenched in sweat before i had elias buckled in.  reached up and snapped lyla's belt in and walked around the van to secure miss liv when i heard the screech of tires behind my back.

i looked up to see this woman coming towards me with arms outstretched and as i found myself enveloped in a surprisingly strong hug she whispered in my ear, i keep feeling that God is asking me to give you this scarf and it would look so lovely on you and i would love for you to take it.

and i came undone, wrapped up in a scarf in the hot heat of summer, caressed by His assurance that He loves.