as i drove down that long and dark road to pick up my lyla from a home made warm with cookies.
and the fog that had crept over the edges of a day that was fading came rushing in as the light pulled out.
i drove aimlessly, with no purpose or reason other than to feel the motion of a vehicle beneath me.
lifted my eyes to that moon all creamy and full when i noticed the light had faded to a dull grey,
a dark silhouette all pressed up against a darker sky.
it's the fog coming in, kimberley, he whispered into my confusion.
and i watched as her face slowly faded away.
as we drove home in the icy cold mist an hour and a half later, there was no trace of her left.
just a sky heavy with cloudy moisture and air that froze me from the inside out.
this morning came and a small box given and so sweetly filled with christmas cheer.
i pull out the star that fits in my palm,
i move it so it catches the light and glistens and twinkles in my hand.
it speaks to me of hope - how the air around me can be filled with memories full of pain.
memories of why?'s and what should we have done?
memories that can't be changed or fixed.
but turn them towards Him?
towards the One Who is The Light?
and He gives hope that shimmers and dances against the backdrop of grief.
we turned that final turn,
past that church where the silhouette of Jesus had stood,
Hands lifted up as the Spirit of God descended like a dove...
until a car crashed into the foundation below Him and the whole front of the building had to be replaced.
i can't see Him there anymore.
i can't see the face of the full and heavy moon tonight...
but as we pulled into the dark of the street, fog clouds all heavy and little ones caught up in the lights of Christmas,
the radio spilled out in praise of our King,
turn your gaze to heaven
and raise a joyous noise
oh the sound of salvation come
the sound of rescued ones
and all this for a King
angels join to sing