he began his life, hidden in the dark and quiet of his mother.
his tiny heartbeat fluttered beneath translucent skin
and before his mama even knew he was there,
he already had a name.
she was on the run,
with a small one in her womb when she met Him,
when she named Him,
called Him The God Who Sees Me,
because He did.
and He in turn,
names him inside her.
she knows Him as the God Who sees,
but he would always know Him as
he would be reminded every single time his name is spoken.
lost with his mama in the wilderness,
hidden beneath a bush while she turns away,
can't bear to see her son die in the heat.
she cries out, because sometimes that is all one can do in deep pain.
does she forget that He has His Eyes on her? did she forget His Voice that found her in that first wilderness she wandered in?
but it's his cry He hears.
He hears Ishmael's cry,
because He responds to His promises
and He opens her eyes to the water that He provides.
and i think of the dreams that He places within,
hidden in the dark and in the quiet...
unknown to anyone but Him.
and He has named them.
could we all be pregnant with an ishmael?
those dreams that surge with a heartbeat that only God Hears?
and when i feel unseen
and i place those hopes under wraps,
hide them away and choose to forget all He has done...
what if what i fear most is that i will remain in the wilderness?
can i still choose to,
will i still choose to live in a way, no matter how quiet,
that glorifies Him - that brings honour to His Name?
what He has placed deep within and named...
i am filled and expectant with what He alone hears.
and when i find myself in my wilderness -
when what i dream seems to be dying,
let me remember that He hears what is deep within...
and He sees.
and He knows exactly where i am...