letting go...{day 4}

it started during those words that our pastor spoke over us this morning,

us with those wafers of bread in our hands,

and Jesus, on the night He was betrayed, broke bread and gave thanks...

and i couldn't move past it.


i couldn't move past the breaking and the betrayal and the moment of thanks.  past the handing over of fellowship to the very one who would usher in His death with a kiss.


i think of all those areas in my heart broken...

betrayed and bruised...

all those places where i have been the betrayer.


and those Hands that hadn't yet been pierced by the nails, but Whose skin had been stretched over bone and muscle for that very purpose, they willingly broke and released the symbol of His Body so that the 12 around Him could be filled.

He let go of His Life so that we could find it and be made new...

He was willingly broken and beaten and betrayed so that when His sacrifice is truly grasped, He gets all the praise.

and letting go has nothing to do with shedding an old skin that has become too tight, or releasing dreams or hurts or pain...

but it has everything to do with bringing Him alone glory.


to let go is to open my hand to give Him whatever keeps me enslaved to my sinful nature and receive His Sacrifice willingly - 

to take up my own cross and follow Him.


letting go is releasing me and embracing Him.

no hidden agendas,

no ulterior motives.

i am just a woman so tired of who i have been and so very desperate for my Jesus.