did you know how much i loved you when you began to have so many *firsts*? that when you smiled, laughed, cooed, kissed, my heart couldn't fathom anything more exciting then you?
do you know that even in the midst of your bold and loud declarations for independence i am fascinated by you? that my heart is already heavy with tears not yet shed for the day when you no longer run up to me and confidently state that you want to hold me...that day when your room is all packed up and the thirst for your future is surrounding you and you walk out our door for the last time as my little girl...
i love you lyla. my heart brims over with love for you...so powerfully that i find myself unable to breathe in the quiet moments of early morning when i hear you begin to stir and my arms ache to hold you in them because i know, faster then i'll realize, there will be silence where your sleepy morning sounds were...
did you know, tender heart, that i love your fierce independence and determination? that from that first scream that came out of your mouth my heart grew bigger and you captured me? did you know that even in those first blearly, fuzzy weeks that are hard for me to recall, that i felt like i had been given two hearts so that you had one of your very own?
did you know that even in your sleeplessness, i find you fascinating? that you have brought me closer to the throne of God? did you know that with that very first smile, you made all the questioning, all the fear fade?
do you know that your smile is embedded in my heart? that even with your early morning wake up calls and tired and exhausted i place my hand on your door, my heart leaps at the sight of your sleepy turned up lips. you are beautiful sweet baby...
did you know dear one, that the first time i saw you i loved you? that you took my breath away? did you know that all the feelings, all the emotions that i have experienced in becoming a mother pale in comparison to the love i feel for you? did you know that each moment we waited for was worth it?
do you realize that you have captured me, that you move me, that you have been such a critical part of my healing. do you realize how much i love you?
i love you for loving me, for each baby you've made with me, for each chapter we've gone through together.
did you know i love you?
