Friday, May 16, 2008

i'm writing this post to enlist help from you, dear readers, who may have more knowledge then i do at this point.

i've tried ferber, i've tried sears, i've tried the baby whisperer, i've tried baby-wise, i've tried blacking out the windows, i've tried white noise, i've tried whole milk, i've tried formula, i've tried cereal. i've tried the (gross) putting of a used nursing pad in the crib only to have it thrown out of the crib at me (so much for being soothed by my smell...), i've tried swaddling, i've tried not swaddling, i've tried co-sleeping, i've tried gripe water, i've tried snuggling, i've tried not snuggling. i've tried the chiropractor, i've tried schedules, i've tried *bath before bed*, i've tried baby massage. i've tried aromatherapy, i've tried and tried and tried.

and still, livie will not sleep.

oh, i'll get about 1 week of sleeping through the night out of her, but then sleeplessness comes back with a vengence.

me? i'm at my wits end. i am at a complete loss. i'm exhausted. tony is exhausted. lyla is exhausted. and livie? as busy and happy as ever.

surely someone out *there* has gone through something similar and knows the secret? surely someone understands my complete and utter loss and discouragement and has an answer? someone? anyone?

in my more lucid moments i try and soothe myself by trying to convince myself that livie just finds me irresitable. that helps. but it still doesn't give me 8 uninterrupted hours of sleep. heck, at this point i'd settle for 6...7 would be a bonus.

i also try and convince myself that *someday* i'm going to miss these days. but will i truly miss being woken up every 25minutes to 2 hours? maybe when i'm 90...

please don't get me wrong...i love my daughter to pieces. i think she's adorable, charming, a medical mystery.

i just miss my sleep...