i was waiting to meet you.
terrified at the prospect of having a son.
elated at the prospect that i was having a son.
longing to hold you in my arms.
i can't even begin to grasp how fast these last 12 months have gone by. so full of joy and laughter. so full of deep sorrow.
i don't want this year to be over. i don't want the sweet *firsts* to already be had.
you, the one who filled my arms and my heart so completely. the one who is becoming more brave by the day to take that first, wobbly, uncertain step. you, the one who clings to my neck and crawls away giggling. you have completed my heart in ways i never imagined.
i love you.
i love you.
i love you, my sweet boy.
my heart is so full of emotion that it's squeezing out all the words. but know, that i feel the same wonder for you that i did the first moment you were placed in my arms.
happy first birthday, little one.
love always,
mama
