the more years i've been in the business of being a mama, though, i've come to realize how desperately i need some quiet time; to pray, to journal and to allow Jesus to prepare my heart for the day ahead.
i can't even begin to tell you how many times i've tried to set a strict bedtime only to scoff at it 10 days later, choosing instead to go to bed at 1am, only to be woken up at 4am by a lonely elias and then again at 6:30am by 3 children bound and determined to start the day.
i may be a night owl, but i am a night owl who doesn't function well on less then 8 hours of sleep.
my goal has always been to have a morning quiet time, but birthing babies and restless toddlers seems to throw a wrench in to those plans and it can be more miss than hit the majority of the time. thankfully, Jesus is full of grace to mamas with littles!!
quiet time in my bed at 6am is laughable, i'm asleep in the first 5 minutes.
quiet time on my couch at 6am is equally as laughable - again, i'm cozy, snuggled in and sound asleep by the first chapter of haggai.
so, the hunt began.
i've always wanted a desk that i could put under a window. something very simple, very basic...sturdy. i put the thought out there one day to the moms group i am in at church and one of my best friends, who just so happens to be the manager of the campus thirft store, mentioned that she happened to have a green sewing desk that might work.
mind you, it had a big old hole in the middle.
but, it was green. and a sewing desk, so i knew without looking at it that it was going to be perfect. and seeing as janelle knows me so well, i knew she wouldn't bring it up if she didn't think it would suit me.
tony went and picked it up the next day and brought it home.
i started dancing in joy the moment i saw it. especially when tony mentioned that it would be easy as pie to cover.
two days later, hole was gone, paint was dry...now the dilemma of where to sit...
you see, the chair couldn't be comfortable. if there was any comfort whatsoever in the chair i would be a goner immediately.
so i put my feelers out again.
and who came to my rescue?
janelle - of course!
i went and picked up the chair yesterday - nell mentioned that i may need to give it a coat of paint or two, but i can't, it's too adorable the way it is. this chair is full of history, i can just tell.
i set it up today, with little mementos that would remind me of where to turn my eyes.
on the desktop, there is a candle, to remind me of the Light of the world.
a picture of our family (that *does* need to be updated...hopefully soon!), reminding me of the precious lives that Jesus has allowed me to be a part of and nurture.
and a bird given by another dear friend, ranae, at the birth of my son. as i've worked through my study on the book of ruth, this bird has come to take on a very new meaning for me...in ruth 3:5-9 we read of ruth's brave move to propose to boaz on the threshing floor. at one point, she asks him to spread his skirt over her as a sign that he will marry her. though, "technically, the word skirt or garment can be translated more precisely as wings. more accurately it might read, 'spread your wings over your handmaid.' (pg 102). it is in this simple reminder that i can find refuge in my Savior and say with the psalmist "have mercy on me, o God, have mercy, for in your my soul takes refuge. i will take refuge in the shadow of your wings until the disaster has passed." psalm 57:1
and i set up lyla's little pink comfy chair, figuring that if *someone* happens to wake up before i'm done, they can snuggle in near me with a blanket and the "Jesus storybook bible" to look through until we are ready to start the day.
and one more thing, i definitely won't be falling asleep here - this is the coldest room in the house, even with the heater at my toes!
i'm excited. i know that no matter where i am throughout the day, Jesus is near me...but to have a specific place to come to, to sit here and learn from Him in the quiet of the morning means so much, more than i can even explain right now...