until...
still clad in warm fleece pajamas, puttering around the kitchen brewing coffee and searching for cream, the phone rang...
an asking to come by, to drop off a small bit of christmas.
five bits of christmas to be exact, each to be hung on the tree. the love of friends, able to see past the cheer to a tree that stands naked and a heart that can't bring herself to open that last box, have chosen to decorate that tree, our hearts with love...
when christmas is over and the decorations slowly begin to come down, my life here in this house will too.
christmas cheer alongside family pictures, alongside my books, my plates, my music...my memories.
all to be wrapped up until the new home is entered and the precious memories will begin again and unfurled from our time here.
how does one wrap up nearly 3 years of memories? how does one say goodbye to hopes, dreams, amazingly dear friends?
and He, Immanuel, God with us, whispers...
with Grace.
how do i celebrate a season of joy and cheer and hope when inside, my heart is broken and grief makes me scared and change swirls all around me?
with Grace...
and as He comes near and as i remember His coming near, i whisper back in thanksgiving...
50* for the cup and saucer lovingly sent across so many miles and a border and arriving in 2 perfect pieces...
51* for the coffee inside...
52* and the one who sent it...
53* for the ornament picked...just for him and the joy that it brought in its absurdity.
54* for decisions made and the peace it brings...
55* for the waking up at 3 am to an olivia pressed close to my face whispering, "mama, is it christmas now??"
56* for the sweet mamaB and uncle who are flying so many miles to be near and to celebrate and the husband who is gone to gather them up and bring them home...
57* for moving past the belief that "i am not crafty", for the friend who showed me how and actually making a ball for my sweet boy...
58* for not being able to wait until christmas and the giving of to him this morning and the fact that he. actually. likes. it.
59* for the warmth of home and hope...for those who gather inside these four walls and for the gifts that are found deep within each heart, each moment of laughter, each wish of a happy christmas.
and because He came near in the form of a baby, this season is truly a happy one.
