dinner was getting cold and so were my words.
he gently pulled the blanket up around my shoulders and whispered for me to rest.
quietly, he closed the door.
and i sat up.
reaching into the depths of my closet, i began removing items, searching for that which my heart finds priceless.
small and not much to look at, i clutched the worn, brown leather book to my chest and let the tears come.
i didn't open it at first, sometimes all one needs is to hold the very Word of God close and know that He is present.
i moved from my perch on the hope chest lovingly crafted by the hands of my grandfather...the one that he lost a finger in the making...to tony's side of the bed and laid down.
i gingerly opened the cover of my gramma's bible and was instantly enfolded in the scent of her perfume.
8 years. it's almost been 8 years since she went home to Jesus and still, still the pages that bear the marks of tea, tears and years of use, cling to the scent of the woman who had held it close.
underneath her distinct signature were the words,
the Grace of God will not lead you
where the Grace of God won't keep you
yes, gramma. the words you had placed so carefully underneath your name still ring with truth. a truth that i am learning to believe.
two nights ago, under a starry sky, i stood with a mama and a brother who have experienced such loss in this past year. under the expanse of black ink, i looked up to a moon that was being covered...hidden by the shadow of earth.
but not completely.
made to reflect the light of the sun, even at the point where the moon was covered fully, the reflection still shone brighter than the dark circle that had taken over.
(photo credit: jeremy and jo ferris)
pain, fear, uncertainty; while big and scary and at times overwhelming, they can't snuff out His light when we keep our faces turned to Him.
so i continue to look up. continue to keep my face raised to Him. continue to believe that He is bigger, He is brighter, He is present in every circumstance.
and that as i cling to Him, His fragrance will so encompass my life that it will permeate every chapter that i move through.
He will not lead us, where His Grace will not keep us.