one crazy, hectic week that found my sweet husband leaving +4C temps to +13C to -25C to +10C (and yes, i realize i'll need to figure out fahrenheit again at some point...grace is a lovely thing).
and as he walked out the door this morning, us in our new home with practically everything in its place and with my fridge and my pantry stocked and socks on my feet, i sat down on the kitchen floor and cried.
not because i was sad, really. but because i was thankful.
4 months ago, when everything began to fall apart and the writing on the wall became so very apparent despite my efforts to ignore, plead and beg them away, my greatest fear was that we would step out in faith and fail horribly.
each step has been so incredibly hard. i like to know the outcomes of things...that's why i read the endings of books. i enjoy the plot more when i know what to expect. (one of my many charming qualities that drives my husband absolutely crazy.)
and this storyline had no possible way to sneak a peek ahead. none.
the only outcome i could rely on was His faithfulness, His guidance, His presence.
and that was hard.
really, really hard.
i stood in my driveway 2 nights ago changing light bulbs and getting some fresh air when i looked up. the moon was a small sliver of a crescent. it was beautiful...but for whatever reason under that wisp of light i realized how very alone we are here...we know no one but each other and my way home from target.
i could feel the panic start to build...until i remembered.
each step of this journey, despite the difficulty and sadness and fear has proved that *this* is where He wants us.
He wants us here, for whatever reason.
and He's here...so really, it's not that lonely of a place after all.
* a bed made warm by the bodies in it
* being sandwiched by 2 little girls
* timely words
* the last day
* packing up
* bleached whites
* the sound of the dryer
* unanswered questions
* the waiting of an outcome
:::::
*train rides
* new pens
* new journal
* sister talks
* accountability
* family who loves my children in the most genuine of ways
* cut apples
* red bowls
* a patient uncle
* an aunty full of love and grace
* liv's belly laugh
:::::
*my morning 2 cups of coffee
* my quiet with Him in the light of the sun
* the sparkle of my diamonds in the sun on the paper i write on
* a peaceful, lovely home to wait in as i wait for him
* the lessons He teaches
* that they are always timely
* a mid afternoon nap and the sister who let me take it
* home ~ that He alone went ahead of us, that He alone provided
* a new floor to place my feet on and the anticipation of it all
* 3 snoring children
* prayer
* that he called, safe.
*for all the help he received.
* rest
::::
* a spontaneous drive to the ocean. the ocean!!!
* sound of the rain on a rest-stop roof
* rain-drenched skin, hair, clothes, faces
* the waves crashing
* the sound of the power of the deep that i fell in love with 9 1/2 years ago, huddled together on our honeymoon bed
* rows and rows and rows and rows of books
* becky
* worshiping Him together
* a brother-in-law who made breakfast for us every. single. morning.
* a peaceful haven to retreat to
* going home in the morning
::::
* 4 am wake up calls
* groggy little ones
* egg mcmuffins
* snowballs
* hugging him
* waving goodbye
::::
* setting up the kitchen
* our first night home
* my first messy floor here
