it comes...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

it comes on a day when the horizon he sees is the one i long for.

the one where the sky stretches long and wide over fields of gold and a road that winds for miles.

the horizon cradling wide open spaces.

he carried my heart across a border and many miles.

he carried it home...

it comes on an afternoon when the horizon i look at is one that i wish was vastly different,

or just a tad cleaner.

when flushing cars down toilets and smushing food into carpets and drinking i-don't-know-what-was-in-that-glass-anymore keeps me on high alert and 1 nano second away from tearing out my hair. when little boy shoes are just a tad too little and one more expense is just a little too much.

i pray for shoes.

it comes on those kinds of afternoons.

it comes in the early morning hours...the quiet ones.

while it is still dark and already the day feels heavy without even beginning.

it's in those moments when i gingerly turn pages that rustle too loudly in the silence and open my heart up and read,

this is the message we have heard from Him and proclaim to you,
that God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all.
1 john 1:5

words that cause me to shift in my chair because i know it.  i know deep in my heart that there are corners smudged in dark...and i wonder how One so full of light, made completely of light can allow me to come near.

and he's there beside me, blond hair cut just a tad too short, sitting down in the circle of light from my lamp, holding out his pudgy little foot whimpering "owie, mama.  owie.  foot, mama.  foot...owie."

i bend low, my hair falling over him as i sit in the light with my little man.

i bring my face close to the small bloody cut and kiss the wound gently.

lips to cracked skin - his pain doesn't repulse me, it draws me in.

it comes in the evening, at the end of a long day of relying on help from friends.

of pushing past fear of being vulnerable, pride of asking for help.

it comes in the seemingly small moments, the ones where your children are held and loved by friends long prayed for.

and He whispers it gently in the question that is asked,

do you happen to need shoes for elias?

it comes in those moments,

when life cracks open and we hold a bloody mess in our hands.

we can cry out to the One filled with Light...

it's the dark-smudged corners that need Him the most.

it's those corners He wants to heal the most.

it's in those moments,  those moments that He brings lips to cracked and bleeding lives...

and breathes life in.