i sit all nervous in the comfy chair placed discreetly by the door.
i'm noticed and motioned to choose a table, any table and make it my own.
i pick the one just out of the way, tucked into a corner near the window all sunny and i wait.
my fingers fidget with themselves,
they play with the menu,
i watch the cars drive by.
and i remember that sunday, how many months ago now? when we dropped off the little ones in the nursery down that hall.
how the woman who loves all the little ones who walk in that door had held elias close as she took him to his class...
and her voice drifted out of the doorway i just walked through, into that hallway and it caught on the edges of my heart the way she spoke truth into his life,
did you know elias? Jesus loves you!
and in the same way that she speaks truth into them,
she sat across and spoke His love and His truth into me.
because sometimes a mama feels tired,
sometimes a mama finds it hard to see past everything that is going wrong and feels as though she is drowning in the noise.
until someone, who has walked these paths before reaches out,
and gives you Hope to grab onto,
fans new oxygen into lungs all constricted and tight.
reminds of all the basics;
and most of all love...
and in those moments of connecting, He makes a way in a soul burning hot like a desert,
pours in refreshment in a heart parched dry and thirsty.
it's not easy turning from a way old and worn
to His, all new and untried...
but as i hold them close in my arms,
as i look at them with eyes refreshed
and a heart renewed...
i know certain and true
that they are worth all of the pain that comes from stretching and breaking away from old patterns and habits.
His love and His purposes for this family, this life, are worth everything it takes to be made new...