when it's all wrapped up...

it's when tensions run high that i find myself in that tiny room just off of our garage.

when everyone is tired and dinner takes 2 hours to get through

and i just need to catch my breath.


2 days in and already the new year feels kind of like the old one.


but i turn on that light in my tiny little laundry room

and face the truth about the state of my heart these last four weeks.


as my sorrow grew, so did the pile of completely clean,

but most definitely, unfolded chaos and socks.


i reached in and pulled out a frilly tutu,

a pink ruffly shirt,

little socks that keep little boy toes warm...

the mountain of disorder was soon made right.


and she sends me a box in the middle of those days of december that cause the most pain.

all wrapped up in brown paper, i open it gently

because she gives with specific purposes in mind.


i pull out the bird all painted with blue,

given in the cold of december and holding balloons that burst out with colour.


and tucked in beneath it all

is a book.

one that is full of the pictures she took - 

full of the hope of the coming spring.


and as i dusted off the tops of my neglected laundry duo and reminded myself of why it's more than a room to do laundry...it's a room with the possibility to bless...

as i flipped through the pages and lost myself in the beauty of spring; feeling the hope that the new that He whispered really is mine for the taking,

i read this:

when the laundry is for the dozen arms of children or the dozen legs, it's true, 

i think i'm due some appreciation.  so comes a storm of trouble and lightening strikes

joy. but when Christ is the center, when dishes, laundry, work, is my song of thanks to Him, 

joy rains. passionately serving Christ alone makes us the loving servant

to all...when the eyes of the heart focus on God, and the hands on always washing the feet

of Jesus alone - the bones, they sing joy, and the work returns to it's purest state:

eucharisteo. the work becomes worship, a liturgy of thankfulness.

~ one thousand gifts

and i try and grasp this thought...that for the new to be made real this year, my heart needs to be bent in thankfulness towards Him...

so, i pull out a  new journal,

turn to a new page,

dust off the habit,

and begin again...

He's making a way, a new way, for these feet of mine to follow.


1135* a new moleskin filled with new verses to learn

1136* the yellow daisies placed around this house - the most wonderful gift

1137* hugs that love strong

1138* grilled cheese sandwiches

1139* that He still pursues my heart, even when i have been faithless

1140* a hard evening turned right around

1141* him, lost in sleep on that couch