they may think you are silly. even if you ask for proof...

Monday, March 12, 2012

i find that space in the very back of the sanctuary,

that chair lost in the corner and place myself there.

i sit beside the one who calls me daughter while my husband grieves another loss,

another passing that changes the landscape of this family that has become my own.

i sit quiet,

lost in thoughts and memories...

but it's that blonde haired little one who has caught my attention,

all snuggled up between her parents.

my eyes keep drifting to them,

to the adoration on that daddy's face.

and it's as the last song is sung,

as she is caught up in her mama's arms that i notice her daddy reach over and take her hand...

and hold it.

mama keeps swaying with the tempo of the notes

but that daddy just doesn't let go.

can't take his eyes off of his little girl...

and it aches.

that's when i feel it,

that gentle pressure on half of my head,

as though someone has laid their hand on top of me.

and i sit confused because there is only a wall behind me,

no reason for what i'm feeling...

that sermon, those songs, that scene in front of me -

are all woven with the words that speak of a Father's Love for His Son and His children and i feel a soft warmth surrounding me and i wonder...

could He have His Hand on me right now?

and it's preposterous.

and i feel stupid for even entertaining the thought,

even though i can't help but wonder...

i feel foolish asking,

in the quiet of the song,

but i ask it anyways...

is it You?

and if it is, could you maybe move a finger or two?  You know, just to show me i'm not being silly?

i sit perfectly still,

and breathe...

and wait...

and in the quiet of that corner i sit in,

i feel the unmistakable movement of






fingers lifting and coming back down to rest gentle on my head.

the day ahead of me?

it was still hard.

tired and emotional, i blundered many moments and things.

still felt weighed down and heavy by everything swirling around us.

and yet, the thought stayed with me all day when i would begin to feel overwhelmed ~

because that corner that i felt a tad lost in?

He found me there.

He laid His Hand on top of me 

and i am a daughter found.

i am a daughter who can't help but say, thank You...

3 gifts in the kitchen...
1339. family
1340. friends who have become family
1341.that pink kitchen-aid

3 gifts loud...
1342. lyla
1343. olivia
1344. elias

3 gifts carved...
1345. my hope chest
1346. that picture frame his dad made
1347. the memories of now on my heart

3 gifts in Christ...
1348. i am a new creation
1349. i have been redeemed
1350. i am forgiven

3 gifts read...
1351. 2 corinthians 3-4
1352. dietrich bonhoeffer
1353. the gift of words place in my inbox each day

a gift in wind, in water, in white...
1354. the memories of where home was in the whipping of the air here
1355. the raindrops rolling down
1356. the snow that swirled first