107 F.
mild, yes, for some parts of this country, but for me? it made me whisper out His Name in a plea for mercy.
i keep saying it's because i'm canadian, despite the visa and the pictures and paperwork that are just one step closer to becoming amercian. deep down, my roots have been planted deep in "the great white north" and over and over i tell myself that i wasn't made for this...
he fights the newest transition, cries and pleads to not be a big boy as the diapers are put away and the big boy pants are brought out and we sit for hours today in that bright and sunny bathroom, those cars he desperately wants, just out of reach.
we sing and clap and laugh and still...nothing.
nothing, of course, until he is in the kitchen and then, of course, accidents happen...but i begin to question that maybe i wasn't made for this...
and it's as that thought sneaks it's way into my mind today that another thought entirely counteracts what i have been telling my heart for years when things become uncertain and rocky...
but maybe you are...
no, the blood that runs through these veins may have found their origin years before me in countries like norway and scotland, ireland and russia. and maybe, because of this, i will always long for -40 degree winds and snow that blows from the north just to steal your breath away,
but before He ever created me, before i was ever knit together in the dark and quiet, He wrote out my story. every smooth surface and every detour that i have thought was going to be the end of me. each mile my life will cover...and has covered... has been penned by Him first.
i may think that i wasn't made for the circumstances i face,
but He knows i am.
she placed the doppler yesterday morning on my belly that's starting to show and almost immediately that sound of a runaway heartbeat filled the room for a moment that was too short.
this one hears my heartbeat everyday...
all day.
and maybe ~ though, i could be wrong ~ all of the i wasn't made for this's could be quieted if we purposefully hide under His Wing and lean close against Him to hear His heartbeat that beats strong for His Own.
maybe...
because i think in the cadence we'd hear the promise that He created you and me because He has a plan, a purpose, that we get to be a part of...
and it will all bring Him glory.
so in the days and moments that you feel that you couldn't possibly have been made for this, dare to believe that maybe you have been.
because it's there, that promise of His that paul wrote down to calm trembling and doubting hearts, just in case you find yourself in the same place that my heart tends to go...
for we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for
good works, which God prepared beforehand,
that we should walk in them.
ephesians 2:10
if He penned it, He knows the outcome.
and He's given you all that you need for each moment that has you whispering His Name as you search for mercy...
