she was once someone's little girl...

i heard the yelling before i fully comprehended the words.

i think i was more focused on all those eyes focused on the same spot across the street.


there is a row of brick houses, walls and foundations all joined together, and there are some who sit out on their front stops each day, no matter the weather.

it was there the yelling was coming from.


i turned and listened as the red faced woman faced us and screamed,

i am the lord thy god!!!!

over and over these words poured from her lips, 

over and over she screamed to the group of kids across the street.

it didn't take long for her to collapse.

this woman all weighted down with what warred inside of her,

she fell to her knees and began barking like a dog...

and one girl,

one young girl with sad eyes stood transfixed.

so i stood in front of her,

i said her name and she looked up at me with this look i can't forget and she whispered,

do you think she's got the devil in her?

and i told her i didn't know. i didn't know why she was acting the way she was - that there could be a hundred different reasons for a mind to break from reality.

but it was my first thought.

that morning i had read in the book of luke in chapter nine of a father who begged Jesus to heal his son. this boy who was at the mercy of the demonic and the ESV, it puts it this way,

'...and behold, a spirit seizes him, and he suddenly cries out. it convulses him so that he

foams at the mouth, and shatters him, and will hardly leave him...' (vs. 39)

it was those three words that caught my attention in the early hours and it was those three words that came back to me as i looked at this wild woman rolling around in the grass and the mud...

she was shattered.

broken.

evil wreaks havoc on humanity and Jesus is the only One Who can heal.

i thought of her as i drove home,

thought of her late into the evening not even knowing her name,

but instead of being scared, 

instead of thinking of her as crazy,

all i could picture as i thought of her shattered-ness laid bare before everyone around...

she's someones daughter.

somewhere, at sometime, she was someone's little girl who spun in sunshine and laughed at the ridiculous and had hopes and dreams that along the way became shattered and broken and any hope she had was replaced with a mind howling through the dark.

the broken are all around us - and as Easter Sunday passes and gives way to Everyday Monday, i wonder can the broken make their way to Him through me?

it's that story in luke that keeps bringing me back - how the disciples failed the father, but through their failings, they led him to Jesus - to the only One who could heal that someone's son.

He takes the twisted and the shattered - you and me - the ones who lie splayed out on our brokenness and He binds up those wounds, because it was for those wounds, for the brokenhearted ones that He came. 

He gives us freedom.

He rebuilds what has been shattered.

He takes the sons and daughters of all those someones and makes them His very own...

3 gifts red

2016. Lyla's love of ketchup

2017. bowl-full of peppers

2018. my kiss on my little boy's cheek

3 gifts eaten

2019. canadian smarties

2020. canadian chocolate

2021. melted mozzarella 

3 gifts that made you laugh

2022. my daughters

2023. my son

2024. my husband

3 gift salty, sweet, just right

2025. homemade spaghetti sauce

2026. a caramel latte

2027. banana peppers

3 gifts found in His Word

2028. He heals the shattered

2029. He uses our little

2030. death is conquered

3 gifts found in women today

2031. gane - planting that tree

2032. gina - loving my littles

2033. deaunna - speaking encouragement 

3 gifts spoken

2034. forgiveness

2035. "this place is FLOODED with cows!!" (says olivia on a drive through the country)

2036. "why come?" (says lyla who never asks "how"? :) )

a gift sung, written, painted

2037. elias - "10,000 reasons" with his little head thrown back singing loudly in praise behind me as i drive

2038. livie writing "mom"

2039. lyla's "rock dog" by our front door

3 gifts almost gone

2040. zeruiah's second month

2041. that last tea bag

2042. lyla's little years

3 gifts redeemed

2043. my mama-ing - every. single. day.

2044. broken relationships turned around in the next generation

2045. our silly new dog

3 gifts entwined

2046. his heart and mine

2047. our dreams for the future

2048. our arms while we sleep

3 gifts of His promises

2049. death is defeated

2050. He is coming back

2051. in Him, i'm new

3 gifts uncovered

2052. the unlovely is loved by Him

2053. He doesn't allow you to look away from the hard things

2054. sometimes what is revealed causes you to cling tighter

a gift heard, held, hoped for

2055. lyla singing, "o happy day" at the top of her lungs in the Easter Service

2056. Livie dancing behind me

2057. that grass to grow in