in the middle...

Monday, May 30, 2011

i wrote yesterday of arms that ache and time that passes and a phase that's ending and my heart that struggles...

and the boy i wrote of neither slumbered nor slept last night except for 3 short hours that reminded me of the years when olivia wouldn't sleep.

and i realized that sometimes, the passage of time is a good thing.  phases ending are to be celebrated along-side the ache...

because, as i stood in my yard this morning listening to 6 children play and yell and tattle,

as i sat at my kitchen table with a friend who has become a sister and listened to my husband laugh with one of his oldest and treasured friends,

my heart was filled and realization came that the deepening of relationship, the strengthening of spirit are something that only comes as the years pass and life is experienced.

so i stand in the middle, trying to embrace both...thankful that i am given this opportunity to hold both in my hands...

and the list lengthens...

*890. hearing "aunty kim!!", whether in joy, or request, or in defense of friends; the sweet lisp of a boy who has won my heart completely.

*891.  watching my children be loved and held and tickled and tossed in the air by arms and hands we have seen change over the years.

*892. glimpses of a belly swelling with life.  the wonder of who will join this ragamuffin group of us.

*893. coffee.  lots of it after a night of no sleep.

*894. sitting across the kitchen table and thanking Jesus for the gift of her friendship.

*895.  college stories of camaraderie and the laughter of jokes known only by them.

*896.  late night cookie dough making.

*897.  strawberries beginning to form.

*898.  tony's willingness to take elias for a drive at 4am so i could sleep and olivia sneaking into our room at 4:30...wide awake and ready to start the day.

*899.  netflix and sesame street watching to keep the awake ones at bay.

*900.  that He alone is holy and that He has showered me with grace and forgiveness so that i can approach Him and know Him in return...

*901. catching him watching for lyle...

*902. and the both of us listening to him sing.