day one...

Monday, September 12, 2011

i can't really remember when the conversation happened,

the one between his mama and me.

when she gently brought up the idea and i laughed and told her it wasn't for me.

but she persisted, in a soft sort of way and it's always been there in the back of my mind.

it's not conventional though, in my head at least.

something i've laughed at and shook my head at, wondered why anyone would choose to make that decision.

and then...

i made it.

i made that decision to be unconventional.  to go a different route and make a different choice.

i planted it deep in the midst of chaos and instability, in the midst of wide-eyed wonderings in the middle of the night.

the big brown boxes have arrived on my front door, all taped up and holding the path that our next year will follow.

and this weekend was spent unpacking and sorting, organizing and making notes...

lots and lots of notes...

i laid my head down in the dark of the night and realized, when i awoke in the morning, life was going to change.

oh, not in a car-pooling sort of way, or packing-lunches kind of way.

i think i thought, however naively, that by making this decision to school at home, life would remain pretty much the same.

but as we bent over the lessons this morning, us three...

as my carefully laid out schedule took some turns i wasn't expecting,

i got to watch my little girl's face light up with discovery.

we got to lay down together on the floor and dig deep into the earth and the past.

we giggled over writing a letter and building a collage,

i got to look at her face and watch her learn.

no, it may be unconventional.

it may even be a little bit different.

and while i agree it may not be for everyone...

it's a journey that is right for us.

she started kindergarten this morning...

life will never be the same.

(and miss olivia didn't want to be left out either...)

(and where is elias, you ask?  yeah.  he was too busy smashing his cars together...)

and this...*this* is a gift, to grow along side of them.  to guide them as they learn.  to be a part of  their lives in this big and small way.

happy first day of school...

*1124.  the beginning of a brand new month
*1125. the last week before he has his own store
*1126. livie's belly laugh, lyla's smile, elias' stinky feet
*1127. sunday service spent in fellowship - bob sitting down
*1128. finding out curriculum's been shipped, new ink
*1129. that the answer is *wait*, that His timing is perfect
*1130. footie-jammies made of fleece and the 2 that still wear them
*1131. an night out with friends and tony waiting for me on the front porch in the dark of night
*1132. almost all the books organized and lined up on the shelf
*1133. words that calm and inspire.  amazing children, passionate husband
*1134. He is stronger than my weakness.  big martha's meatloaf