it struck me today, in the quiet of this evening,
as little ones sleep and tony lies exhausted in our bed,
that it has been a year.
i've lived through a day that found itself nestled between this post and this one 12 long months ago.
for 12 months, i have sung the same lullaby over them as they drift off to sleep each night,
and each time the tune fills the room soft, i remember that dark,
and the tears that covered my face as the words warbled their way out of my mouth,
are you far away from home, this dark and lonely night...
my heart knew before my mind could accept it, the changes that were waiting on the horizon.
i remember the cold of those floors, that bitter prairie wind and the way my heart ached each day.
we piled into the van around noon today, drove down to surprise their daddy and be near him as he worked.
they position their chairs so that they can cheer for him loudly, smile big goofy grins and observe him while he works.
and when he steps off the floor for a brief 10 minute break, they run to him begging to be caught up in his arms.
his smile is breathtaking.
he catches my eye...
and he winks.
the sorrow was overwhelming those 12 long months ago,
i knew our path was changing
and joy seemed so far away.
but i looked up today, as his staff cheered for olivia...encouraging her to do her *rock n' roll* dance,
as they showed her their own dances as she buried her face against me...
i felt it.
deep in my heart,
joy ~ abundant and full.
there are places in us that will always bear the mark of the last 2 years of pain.
but He has faithfully gathered up what was shattered, not wasting any of it,
and as He rebuilds the broken, He binds it together with joy.
and that path that led us from there to here?
it finds us dancing under the song He sings.
and i give thanks on this twenty-fifth day that finds us here...and for the tears that led the way.