in that change of light...

Sunday, December 4, 2011

it's when the light begins to change that my head lifts.

He knows how to catch my attention.

four days in and already this month has seen a few tears.

it's easy to keep my head down and buried in memories.

easy to stay locked up in what i wish was and ruminate on the hurt.

and then He changes the light

and the kitchen glows rosy

and the windows are edged in gold

and my feet move by themselves to the door and i open it wide...

step outside

and look up.

i don't know what it is about the sky here,

but He paints masterpieces on it that leave me breathless.

i stand on cement without any socks on,

surrounded by little ones twirling in the grass,

i feel the cold seeping in but i can't move.

His Love has stopped me still.

i don't know what it is about this place,

how it can capture me so completely.

i remember begging Him those 12 months ago to let me stay there,

to not make me leave.

to heal what was and let life carry on as brokenly normal as possible.

but His plan was gloriously unstoppable and i wonder now why i fought it so hard.

He lifts my eyes so i can look into His beauty,

so that i am reminded of Who He is and who i am

and that no matter what ground these feet find themselves on,

He is there.

He sets the moon as a jewel in the sky above me,

shyly, she lets half her face be known...

and i look up at her,

reflecting the light of the sun sinking down.

He never leaves us without His presence.

so i just keep lifting my eyes,

even if the cold is seeping in

and the memories seem lost in the dark.

yes, some nights are darker then others,

sometimes His Face is hard to find...

but He is there,

always there.

and He never leaves us alone...