when it's all wrapped up in cinnamon...

Monday, December 5, 2011

i couldn't find my mittens as i rushed out the door this evening.

the happy grey ones that keep these fingers toasty.

and while my fingers can barely bend to type out these words,

i wouldn't have traded that conversation in chilled night air for anything.

they crowded around me this morning, those three little ones with the big, big eyes...

as soon as i opened that large jar of cinnamon they were there, tangled up around my legs.

tongues start licking lips and eyes begin to twinkle and small hands clap with glee at the thought of warm cookies to fill small tummies and  pretty soon three little bottoms are plunked right on that mat laid down in front of the oven door.

His gifts are like that,

once you begin to catch a glimpse.

in the beginning moments, when life feels like it is being whipped within an inch of itself, none of it makes sense.

and sometimes, there are parts that never will this side of what we will someday know...

but He has Hands that can take every moment, every pain and joy and make something fantastic.

i think that's why i love the smell of cinnamon.

why i love watching those three press their young faces up against that glass window.

why i love standing and visiting in a backyard while the little ones run.

why i love standing out in the freezing cold and catching up with a friend who i've missed.

why i love to tap out these words with fingers just beginning to warm up...

because 23 months and 3 weeks ago my world completely shattered.

because 11 months and 3 1/2 weeks ago my life was completely uprooted.

and when i couldn't see outside of what i thought had been secure,

He was so faithful.

when my life became so unrecognizable that it hurt to even look at,

He remained constant.

He remained sure.

and when He said, I know in the quiet of changes emerging,

He was also asking me to trust.

they finish baking up, those snickerdoodles that make me laugh.

the smell of cinnamon wraps itself around this home.

and we give them away,

because that is what Hope, what Love, does.

and when we have given it all,

He fills us up again...