letting go...{day 12}

one of the saddest days of my life was when my mother told me "superman" did not exist. 

cause even in the depths of the ghetto you just thought he was coming...

she thought i was crying because it's like santa claus is not real. i was crying

because no one was coming with enough power to save us.

geoffrey canada, waiting for superman

it's that quote that has stuck with me all weekend long - read in the pages of a book that i thought would help me understand a bit more of what our kids down at the mission face everyday.  i thought it would help me understand a culture that seemed so foreign...


but the reality is, those words could be said in the depths of the ghetto or in the safest, most secure community on the far side of town. aren't we all looking for a superman with enough power to save us?  

what it all boils down to was found in the pages of another book that i'm reading - me with my nightstand piled high and precariously with all sorts of books - 

it is vital for a healthy church and an effective witness that we understand aright the core of God's revelation as the Holy One. i fear that many are quick to make God in their image rather than understand we are made in His...many people's vision of God owe little to scripture

and much to their psychology. at worst our imaginary conception of God 

is little more than an idol with a few proof texts to clothe it.

simon ponsonby, the pursuit of the the holy

could this process of letting go actually begin with this step - letting go of what i have imagined God to be and to dig deeper to discover Who He Is?

letting go seems to be stripping me of what i held dear - my ideals, my perceptions, even the *good things* that seemed to be so right. 

it's disconcerting, really.

and yet, i want to know Him - not the superman i imagine, or even want Him to be.  

i want to have answers for my little ones when they ask Who God is,

i want to be able to explain who we are in comparison and why it is that we so desperately need Him.

in letting go, i want to let go of everything that hinders my relationship with Him - not to appear pious or "religious" but because i want my life to glorify Him.  

no matter how many years He gives me to live, they are nothing more than a vapor in light of the expanse of eternity...

letting go is letting go of the false and grabbing on to what is holy and true - 

it's only and always about Jesus...