lessons in the messy...

Friday, February 17, 2012

he comes home to find me a mess.

packages of chicken thighs that normally hold a set amount all wrapped up in prepackaged plastic are each missing one and they need to be in the oven five minutes ago.

the floor that i had vacuumed at 10 was a disaster again by 4

the children that had been shouting all morning were now full on fighting

and my last nerve






he walks in the door to find his wife barely holding it together.

or maybe,

if i'm to be honest,

not holding it together at all.

he walks into the kitchen and stands in my way.

on purpose.

won't budge from that spot as i try and force my way around him,

exhaling loudly

and sighing impatiently

and biting my lip so i don't cry.

he knows this.

because he knows me.

and he keeps standing there.

he knows why i'm about to fall apart.

the microwave beeps

and the third package of chicken is laid down and pulled apart.

i oil and stuff and salt and pepper and place them on that rack

and set them all into the oven.

and that's when he says something,

they put their pants on this morning one leg at a time,

just like us.

and i want to laugh and cry and i did a little bit,

because it's true.

in this year hollowed out and named new

i was trying to stuff it up full with the hurt from the old...

i forgot that what He spoke in the dark of the first month

can still apply in the chaos of the second.

that when He asks us to abide, we can trust that He knows 

and those new roads He leads us on have been traveled by His feet first.

it's safe to trust Him...

even when you are scared to.

even when you have been hurt before.

even when the landscape around you leaves you feeling disorientated at the oddest of times.

He is trustworthy.

and even if you have lost it all

but you still have Him...

you have Everything.

and those new roads through those new places?

they lead closer to Him...

indeed i count everything as loss because of the surpassing
worth of  knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. for His sake i have suffered the loss
of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that i 
may gain Christ, and be found in Him...
philippians 3:8-9a