for when it begins to change...

He is unchanging and yet He brings us through seasons that will bring about change in us.

i stood outside on our front step this evening and realized that with startling clarity even though it's been something He has been whispering in my heart for the last few weeks or so.


that word He gave at the beginning of this year to name the year and to give me a focus?  He hasn't forgotten and He won't let me forget either...

He wants to flow life through what has seem parched and dry.


but i don't know if i'm brave enough.


change with all its mysteries and uncertainties is certainly something i've never embraced, but could this be a step towards something new?  instead of clinging to the familiar and the old, can i trust Him to provide when it feels as though i'm grasping at air?


this post seems as vague and as hazy as the other side of that door standing wide open and it seems that the only way through is to drop a lot of dreams. a lot of hopes. a lot of what i had expected.

but maybe dropping it all is letting go of what has been holding it all back...


i feel like i always do, that last moment before that last push that brings that first moment of holding my baby in my arms:

i feel terrified.


but pushing through fear, through loss always seems to bring about new life.

it's always miraculous...


and there are other words of a river that flows that wind their way through all of my questions and fears and they are a promise.  His Promise.  and He always remains true to His Word...

when you pass through the waters

I will be with you; and through the rivers,

they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire

you shall not be burned and the flame shall not consume you

isaiah 43:2

so i can give thanks. because He is good.

no matter the outcome.

1560. for tony

1561. his birthday

1562. holding his hand

1563. 12 years with him

1564. sock puppets

1565. gane

1566. hugs that soothe tears

1567. dog hair...everywhere

1568. rainy days

1569. a fire in the wood stove...

1570. ...the first of the season!

1571. snuggling with kids and books

1572. new friends

1573. books borrowed

1574. encouraged hearts

1575. being taken care of

1576. yard work

1577. taking care of clutter

1578. mixing up cookie dough

1579. blanket and couch and movie with him

1580. rain on the skylight

1581. elias pressed close

1582. friends who help

1583. moments alone - with tony

1584. 2 princesses and a motorcycle rider

1585. foggy mornings

1586. upturned, smiling faces

1587. tony standing near when i am so tired...